Over the many weeks to come, I will be sharing extremely personal stories that illustrate my point. As with many emotional struggles, these stories mainly involve other people. The main characters in my story have been family members. The only reason I am able to share these stories is because God has healed me and has restored relationships where there once was pain and hurt. My family and I now have loving, healthy committed relationships focused on God rather than ourselves. We have been restored and although their actions may have deeply wounded me in the past, I no longer feel any pain regarding them. We are not the same people that we used to be. We have discussed and hashed out our hurts and reconciled. And where there were differences of opinion or in the case of my mom I was not given the chance to reconcile, God has given me understanding to see what each person was going through. I understand their actions and can forgive even when there wasn’t resolution for these deep wounds.
In no way, do I intend to defame another and make them look bad for their behavior. I am sure I play a large role in the hurts of others who aren’t sharing their story with you. One day you may hear them or hear my children tell you the hurts I caused them. I take full responsibility for those things that are mine. With God’s help, I pray the hurt I have caused has been changed into something good. The purpose of this sharing is to explain how God helped me understand the things that happened to me and put them into His perfect perspective. These stories are about what God did to change ME! The hurts happened and nothing can change that, but God is so much bigger than my experiences and He worked in me to change and grow. So the stories I share are to explain how I changed, not how God changed them. Their part is really the catalyst that helped me learn more about who God is and helped me become whole. In fact, I now see the benefit of that pain because it has transformed me and drawn me closer to God. I am where I am and how I am because of these “negative” experiences. You see, within God’s perfect perspective, I can agree with Joseph who told his brothers in Genesis 50:20, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”
There are also people in my life who are not different and because of this I cannot share their part in my life with you. What I can do is choose to love them where they are and pray that God will work to change their hurts into something good. I want to encourage you to see each story I share impartially and without judgment on anyone else. Instead follow the advice of Jesus in Luke 6:37 when he said, "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” We are able to forgive because we have received forgiveness in God’s perfect perspective.
Now for your part, the million dollar question: Do you want to be healed? Do you want to feel better? “Of course, I want to be healed,” you may say. I only ask because sometimes we aren’t ready for what God has to say. We aren’t ready for the sacrifices that God requires for healing. Sometimes our hurts become our life and we are too scared to give them up. We rely on our emotional struggles because they are all we have and they keep us safe. Yes, you heard me right. Whatever emotional struggle you have, currently serves a function, albeit a dysfunctional function. It is not, however, the abundant life God intended for you to live. If you still answer yes to that question, read on. But be warned, you probably won’t like what I have to say.
The information that God gave me to share is not for your spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, aunts, uncles, friends, colleagues, roommates, co-workers, neighbors or children. It is for you and you alone. You cannot change someone else. Let me say it again more strongly, “You cannot change ANYONE else.” Here is the good news. Only God can help someone else. God has the desire, the purpose and the plan for that person in your life. There is only one thing you can do to help someone else change. You can facilitate change in someone if you are focused on Christ, loving Him completely, and abiding in Him. Through that relationship you can shine a beacon on someone else’s life or become burning coals on their head. How is your love quotient right now? Are you loving people or are they all creeps and jerks?
With the help of God, you can only change you. Your relationship with God is paramount to Him. God has blinders on when it comes to your life. It isn’t that He doesn’t care about others, but in your relationship with God, you are all He sees. In a sense, God asks you not to care what other people are doing wrong in your life. He asks you what you are doing wrong, where you have failed, or what you need to learn from this experience. He is also asking you to trust him even with this.
Isn’t that what Jesus asked us to do when He said to pull the log out of our own eye before we try to find the speck in another’s eye. You must view your journey with the same blinders that God has for you. Focus your eyes exclusively on Him and ask Him what it is He has for you to learn. If you in anyway, shift your focus off God and onto your sinking ship, whatever that may be, you will miss what God has for you. Like Peter, you may start out strong walking across the water, but once your focus waivers, you will begin to sink.
This seems like an impossible task and you are right. It is impossible. You should just give up: give up your agenda, give up your rights, give up your hurts, give up control of the situation, and give up your expectations. You must admit defeat. Call it quits and give it to God. I don’t write anything that I haven’t thought before, believed before or done before. Like Paul says, I am the chief sinner here. I don’t ask this lightly or without regard to the sacrifice it will require of you. I know from personal experience that what I ask, what God asks, isn’t fair. You may have sacrificed, given over and above or been the bigger person and yet God asks you to give even more. I hate being the bigger person more than anyone. It makes me feel like I am taking all the hits, that I am being taken advantage of and that the other person is getting off easy. Whatever happened to you in the past and whatever you are feeling right now can seem insurmountable. It isn’t right the hurt and injustices that have happened to you. It isn’t fair. It is horrible, awful and no good at all.
No one should ever be asked to sacrifice themselves this way and yet someone did that for you, for me, without us asking, because that is what we needed. God isn’t like Alice in Wonderland who gives very good advice, but seldom ever follows it. As God told my older sister, “I always follow my own advice.” He never requires anything of us that He hasn’t already done himself. He asks no less than what he did for you and for me. Where Jesus died a physical death, he asks us to “give up our life for our brothers” and to become “living sacrifices to God.” He asks us to die, so that we might live!
It is not easy, but then nothing ever worthwhile ever is easy. Anything worth living for must also be worth dying for. Die to yourselves, become a living sacrifice, and pick up our daily cross. In return, Jesus promises that his yoke, his burden is easy. It sounds so contradictory, but how I wished I had listened sooner. I can testify that God’s burden is lighter and his yolk is easier than anything I carried before.
I may have just stirred up a million “buts” that you have running across your mind, but let me stop to answer your questions now. “Yes, you can go on.” “Not, it won’t last forever.” “No, it isn’t right what they have done.” “Yes, the pain in your life downright stinks and ‘No’ God doesn’t agree with it or wish it happened to you.” In fact, ‘Yes’ you can be angry and hurt because God is angry and hurt for His children, but ‘No” it isn’t ok to stay where you are.” “Yes, God does care.” “Yes, God is with you even when you don’t ‘feel’ Him.” “No, You are not alone, but ‘Yes” God will use the pain in your life to draw you closer to Him and draw those things from you that are hindering you.” And ‘Yes’, God can make all things new and He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it.”
“But what about me,” you may ask? “What about you?” God replies. “Aren’t I enough for you? Why are you turning to anyone else in this world to define who you are, to heal you, to love you unconditionally, to save you, to meet your every need, to give you what you desire? What about you? Don’t you think I care more about you than that? You are my child, my precious darling, my boy. I know what you need and what you need is me. More of me. Breathe me in. Live me. Stay here. Talk to me. Tell me how much it hurts. Tell me what you are feeling.” Contrary to how you may feel, God is not a petty, vengeful God who is out to get you. He doesn’t desire that you feel pain, but, and here are the key words, ‘when necessary’, He will allow pain in order draw something from you that is keeping you from the life He offers.
So I ask again: Do you want to be healed? Are you tired of all this mess? Are you ready for a change? Are you ready to utterly abandon everything you ever desired? Are you ready to give it all up? When you are, God is waiting to transform your hurts into something good. He is ready to trade your sorrow for dancing. And if you still have “buts” then I say, ‘Read no further.’ But if you are ready, really ready and willing to trade it all in, then you are ready to understand that you have a God-sized problem that requires a God-sized answer. Are you ready for Him?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Journey to Emotional Freedom - Chapter 1
A Place for Emotions and Emotions in their Place
Over the course of this blog, I am going to be discussing some tools God can use or paths He can lead us toward emotional freedom. As with everything, these tools are “ways” God leads us to healing. They aren’t necessarily “THE WAY” God heals us. Some people have been healed miraculously, some through counseling, some through understanding themselves, some through fighting spiritual warfare, and some through confronting false beliefs. The list is endless. These are tools that God has personally shown me, but behind all of these tools is the same God and Savior. Emotional struggles are extremely complex and there is no one, quick fix solution. God has led me to each of these tools on my journey to emotional freedom. As I continue the struggle, I have each of these tools to use to help me on a daily basis. They have been vital as I continue to battle sin, personality flaws, past hurts, and pain. They help me to focus in on God’s truths and put my emotions in His perfect perspective.
For some of us, our emotions are an unfortunate part of life. They hinder us, bog us down and make life difficult. For some of us, our emotions are close to the surface and are tumultuous and unpredictable. Where they fly, we fly too. If we could, we would gladly become Data (the android from Star Trek: The Next Generation) who could mercifully switch his emotions on and off with the flick of a thought. The opposite problem exists for others of us who struggle to feel anything at all. You have emotions but your feelings run so deep you hardly understand them. You may be more like Tristan from the movie, “A River Runs Through It” who is deeply loved and yet manages to alienate and destroy a whole family with his inability to connect.
These two emotional extremes are hard for not only the person who struggles with them, but also for those who are close to them. On one hand, the extremely expressive may emotionally vomit on those around them and our loved ones may feel they need to protect themselves from our extremes. On the other hand, our loved ones may never know where they stand and deeply desire an emotional connection with those out of touch with their feelings. When emotions do surface, they are often explosive and not proportionate to the "crime." In between these two extremes run a gamut of other places we can be stuck emotionally. I have been at these two extremes and in every place in between. I would call myself a recovering emotional car wreck and can empathize with so many emotional struggles.
Emotions play a vital role in our relationships to one another and our relationship with God. If we are to be useful in the kingdom of God, I believe that our emotional life needs to be centered and in line with God’s perfect perspective. Sometimes we get so bogged down in the feelings we are or aren’t feeling that we don’t even know where to begin to deal with them. I learned in the journey God took me on that if our emotions are out of control, God cannot use us as greatly as He would like. If we are wounded, how can we help lead others to Him effectively? We need to be in control of our feelings so that He can guide us with his still small voice. If our emotions are louder than God or if we are cut off from our feelings or anything in between, we run the risk of “feeling” or “thinking” our way through our Christian walk instead of “abiding” as Jesus commands us to.
You have probably heard the saying, “God needs to be in the driver’s seat of our life.” I never liked that saying. It didn’t make sense to me. After all, we aren’t automatons or robots that God controls with puppet strings. We have free will and we can choose to listen to Him or not even after we have been saved. In David Stoop’s book, “You Are What You Think,” he had a much better example of how God helps us drive our car. Imagine yourself driving a special car that only you know how to drive. The car represents the totality of who you are: your body, soul and spirit. The road represents the life you are traveling down. Dr. Stoops says that we can respond in one of two ways when we are confused by our emotions. We can either become over controlling or overwhelmed.
“As we travel down the highway, we suddenly feel overwhelmed, so we decide to put the car on cruise control and jump in the backseat. Then we yell at God, our spouse, our children, our parents, or all of the above ‘You take over! I can’t drive anymore!’ As the car goes careening down the highway, hitting other cars, running over other people and bouncing off buildings, we sit there in a panic, saying ‘Somebody better get control of this thing!’ Perhaps God is sitting with us in the backseat, but all He can say is, ‘I can’t help you back here!’ And He explains, “I can’t do anything as long as you are sitting in the backseat. I can only help if you are in the driver’s seat- if you are in control.” I would add that in our panic, we are out of control. If God were to give us directions, we would be unable to act of them. Our fear, insecurities and overwhelmed emotions paralyze us. We in full-on “flight” mode.
Dr. Stoop goes on to state, “If we are over-controlling, we do just the opposite, we never leave the driver’s seat. But as we drive along, God….suggests we stop or slow down. But instead we panic and hit the gas pedal, swerving to avoid a collision.” When we are over-controlling we are often in “fight” mode. We argue with God and everyone else and we completely lose the ability to hear God. We can even purposefully drive over and into people with our control and anger.
The third reaction to our emotional confusion is “Freeze” mode. Stoop says, “…If we need to turn, we freeze and our arms become like cement. We can’t turn, so we end up hitting a brick wall. The only way to drive the car is to remain in control. That way if (God) suggests we slow down, we can slow down. If we need to make a turn, we make the turn. That’s self-control. That’s the way we are meant to live: exercising self-control in order to be in control.” We know that the Holy Spirit is the conduit through which we hear God, experience Christ and learn spiritual truths. So where is the Holy Spirit in this equation? For that we need another illustration.
My husband is terrible with directions. After 15 years struggling with wrong turns and missed exits, he admitted defeat and bought a GPS device. This handy little unit has solved many arguments between my husband and me. For the most part, I have been relieved of my position as navigator and can happily enjoy the ride without worrying about whether we will actually make it to our destination. My husband is able to plug the address into the GPS and it gives him turn by turn instructions. It even has a positive reinforcement tool to let him know that he has made the right decision. It will say to continue down this road or turn in so many feet and when has made the right decision, it happily chimes like an old-fashioned door bell, “ding dong.” It is now a running joke that when he forgets his GPS, I copy the unit’s tone of voice as I give him directions and even add the little bell chime when he has listened to me correctly. It may seem silly, but we have avoided a lot of arguments this way.
If we are in control of our emotions and they are in perfectly placed within God’s truth, we are free to listen to our “still small” GPS unit called the Holy Spirit. Just like the unit, we don’t get any more instructions than what we need right in front of us. If we listen to the Holy Spirit and obey the directions God is giving us, our emotions are the little chimes that ring. In Galatians 5:22-23, we are told that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These positive feelings are our chimes that let us know we are on the right track, but they only come after we begin to follow the instructions that God gives us, not before. If we placed our emotions at the improper place, we could be easily led astray. Emotions are the trailer hitched up to our car. These positive traits are the evidence of and reward for obedience. If you have ever backed up a car with a trailer hitched up to the back, you know how difficult it can be. Just like a wayward trailer, emotions are unpredictable and can easily lead us astray. It is best to keep moving forward with the directions that we have been given.
Our faith in God fuels our car. It is what keeps us following the Holy Spirit even when we don’t understand the directions or detours He gives us. Our faith is what trusts God’s character when bad things happen. When would we ever feel like loving our enemies, blessing those who persecute us or praying for those who spitefully use us? This is an impossible task and one that cannot be driven by our emotions. After all, in Luke 9:23 Jesus said that on a daily basis we must deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him. Sometimes during hard times, I found that it is even a moment by moment choice to continue my Christian walk by faith and not by what I feel or see around me.
The final piece is God’s truth which is the engine of our car. This isn’t something that will happen overnight, but as we come to believe more and more of God’s word our emotions also begin to come into a more perfect balance. As we traverse this emotional journey together, I will share with you how God led me to emotional freedom. I didn’t always “feel” close to God, but I have learned that continued obedience and seeking God eventually leads us to breakthroughs in emotional struggles. For me, this usually occurred when I finally understand the truth that He has been trying to speak to me and believed that truth. If you have found yourself stuck emotionally, I want to encourage you to ask God to reveal the truths you need for your emotional breakthrough. I promise that on the other side is real, lasting peace and abundant living that is worth digging around inside to find.
Over the course of this blog, I am going to be discussing some tools God can use or paths He can lead us toward emotional freedom. As with everything, these tools are “ways” God leads us to healing. They aren’t necessarily “THE WAY” God heals us. Some people have been healed miraculously, some through counseling, some through understanding themselves, some through fighting spiritual warfare, and some through confronting false beliefs. The list is endless. These are tools that God has personally shown me, but behind all of these tools is the same God and Savior. Emotional struggles are extremely complex and there is no one, quick fix solution. God has led me to each of these tools on my journey to emotional freedom. As I continue the struggle, I have each of these tools to use to help me on a daily basis. They have been vital as I continue to battle sin, personality flaws, past hurts, and pain. They help me to focus in on God’s truths and put my emotions in His perfect perspective.
For some of us, our emotions are an unfortunate part of life. They hinder us, bog us down and make life difficult. For some of us, our emotions are close to the surface and are tumultuous and unpredictable. Where they fly, we fly too. If we could, we would gladly become Data (the android from Star Trek: The Next Generation) who could mercifully switch his emotions on and off with the flick of a thought. The opposite problem exists for others of us who struggle to feel anything at all. You have emotions but your feelings run so deep you hardly understand them. You may be more like Tristan from the movie, “A River Runs Through It” who is deeply loved and yet manages to alienate and destroy a whole family with his inability to connect.
These two emotional extremes are hard for not only the person who struggles with them, but also for those who are close to them. On one hand, the extremely expressive may emotionally vomit on those around them and our loved ones may feel they need to protect themselves from our extremes. On the other hand, our loved ones may never know where they stand and deeply desire an emotional connection with those out of touch with their feelings. When emotions do surface, they are often explosive and not proportionate to the "crime." In between these two extremes run a gamut of other places we can be stuck emotionally. I have been at these two extremes and in every place in between. I would call myself a recovering emotional car wreck and can empathize with so many emotional struggles.
Emotions play a vital role in our relationships to one another and our relationship with God. If we are to be useful in the kingdom of God, I believe that our emotional life needs to be centered and in line with God’s perfect perspective. Sometimes we get so bogged down in the feelings we are or aren’t feeling that we don’t even know where to begin to deal with them. I learned in the journey God took me on that if our emotions are out of control, God cannot use us as greatly as He would like. If we are wounded, how can we help lead others to Him effectively? We need to be in control of our feelings so that He can guide us with his still small voice. If our emotions are louder than God or if we are cut off from our feelings or anything in between, we run the risk of “feeling” or “thinking” our way through our Christian walk instead of “abiding” as Jesus commands us to.
You have probably heard the saying, “God needs to be in the driver’s seat of our life.” I never liked that saying. It didn’t make sense to me. After all, we aren’t automatons or robots that God controls with puppet strings. We have free will and we can choose to listen to Him or not even after we have been saved. In David Stoop’s book, “You Are What You Think,” he had a much better example of how God helps us drive our car. Imagine yourself driving a special car that only you know how to drive. The car represents the totality of who you are: your body, soul and spirit. The road represents the life you are traveling down. Dr. Stoops says that we can respond in one of two ways when we are confused by our emotions. We can either become over controlling or overwhelmed.
“As we travel down the highway, we suddenly feel overwhelmed, so we decide to put the car on cruise control and jump in the backseat. Then we yell at God, our spouse, our children, our parents, or all of the above ‘You take over! I can’t drive anymore!’ As the car goes careening down the highway, hitting other cars, running over other people and bouncing off buildings, we sit there in a panic, saying ‘Somebody better get control of this thing!’ Perhaps God is sitting with us in the backseat, but all He can say is, ‘I can’t help you back here!’ And He explains, “I can’t do anything as long as you are sitting in the backseat. I can only help if you are in the driver’s seat- if you are in control.” I would add that in our panic, we are out of control. If God were to give us directions, we would be unable to act of them. Our fear, insecurities and overwhelmed emotions paralyze us. We in full-on “flight” mode.
Dr. Stoop goes on to state, “If we are over-controlling, we do just the opposite, we never leave the driver’s seat. But as we drive along, God….suggests we stop or slow down. But instead we panic and hit the gas pedal, swerving to avoid a collision.” When we are over-controlling we are often in “fight” mode. We argue with God and everyone else and we completely lose the ability to hear God. We can even purposefully drive over and into people with our control and anger.
The third reaction to our emotional confusion is “Freeze” mode. Stoop says, “…If we need to turn, we freeze and our arms become like cement. We can’t turn, so we end up hitting a brick wall. The only way to drive the car is to remain in control. That way if (God) suggests we slow down, we can slow down. If we need to make a turn, we make the turn. That’s self-control. That’s the way we are meant to live: exercising self-control in order to be in control.” We know that the Holy Spirit is the conduit through which we hear God, experience Christ and learn spiritual truths. So where is the Holy Spirit in this equation? For that we need another illustration.
My husband is terrible with directions. After 15 years struggling with wrong turns and missed exits, he admitted defeat and bought a GPS device. This handy little unit has solved many arguments between my husband and me. For the most part, I have been relieved of my position as navigator and can happily enjoy the ride without worrying about whether we will actually make it to our destination. My husband is able to plug the address into the GPS and it gives him turn by turn instructions. It even has a positive reinforcement tool to let him know that he has made the right decision. It will say to continue down this road or turn in so many feet and when has made the right decision, it happily chimes like an old-fashioned door bell, “ding dong.” It is now a running joke that when he forgets his GPS, I copy the unit’s tone of voice as I give him directions and even add the little bell chime when he has listened to me correctly. It may seem silly, but we have avoided a lot of arguments this way.
If we are in control of our emotions and they are in perfectly placed within God’s truth, we are free to listen to our “still small” GPS unit called the Holy Spirit. Just like the unit, we don’t get any more instructions than what we need right in front of us. If we listen to the Holy Spirit and obey the directions God is giving us, our emotions are the little chimes that ring. In Galatians 5:22-23, we are told that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These positive feelings are our chimes that let us know we are on the right track, but they only come after we begin to follow the instructions that God gives us, not before. If we placed our emotions at the improper place, we could be easily led astray. Emotions are the trailer hitched up to our car. These positive traits are the evidence of and reward for obedience. If you have ever backed up a car with a trailer hitched up to the back, you know how difficult it can be. Just like a wayward trailer, emotions are unpredictable and can easily lead us astray. It is best to keep moving forward with the directions that we have been given.
Our faith in God fuels our car. It is what keeps us following the Holy Spirit even when we don’t understand the directions or detours He gives us. Our faith is what trusts God’s character when bad things happen. When would we ever feel like loving our enemies, blessing those who persecute us or praying for those who spitefully use us? This is an impossible task and one that cannot be driven by our emotions. After all, in Luke 9:23 Jesus said that on a daily basis we must deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him. Sometimes during hard times, I found that it is even a moment by moment choice to continue my Christian walk by faith and not by what I feel or see around me.
The final piece is God’s truth which is the engine of our car. This isn’t something that will happen overnight, but as we come to believe more and more of God’s word our emotions also begin to come into a more perfect balance. As we traverse this emotional journey together, I will share with you how God led me to emotional freedom. I didn’t always “feel” close to God, but I have learned that continued obedience and seeking God eventually leads us to breakthroughs in emotional struggles. For me, this usually occurred when I finally understand the truth that He has been trying to speak to me and believed that truth. If you have found yourself stuck emotionally, I want to encourage you to ask God to reveal the truths you need for your emotional breakthrough. I promise that on the other side is real, lasting peace and abundant living that is worth digging around inside to find.
A fly in the ointment…
I love my house! God has over-abundantly blessed my family with our dream home. I couldn’t ask for anything more and am supremely happy to come home to our house even after vacationing in a nice resort. We are so happy with our home.
There is one guest that has graced our home over the last four years that can stop me dead in my tracks. At first, she seemed to be a minor nuisance and we hoped that within a few days, our visitor would be a dried up relic to be sucked up from the window sill on an occasional basis. Much to my dismay, I now hate, absolutely loathe, detest, and abhor our little guest because somehow she always finds her way into our sealed trashcan to lay her eggs. Much to my horror, I wake up to find her wriggling, white babies with their tiny black heads inching their way into every crevice and hole in my beautiful home. You guessed it…maggots!!!
Oh, how I detest maggots! Not only for the unclean feel that they bring to my house, but because they are so difficult to get rid of. Short of tearing my house apart and moving every couch, table, chair and toy we own, no matter how long I vacuum or scour the house looking for them, I am never able to find them all. Then within a week, my house is covered with flies. They hover over food, pester us at dinner and while watching TV. At night they buzz, buzz, BUZZ EVERYWHERE! I HATE THEM!
This little house guest has graced our home once or twice a year and I have become an expert at killing flies. I have killed three at a time, killed them in midair and have impressed my kids with the accuracy and vehemence with which I attack them. Including screens on every window and door, including the garage (which is coming soon), I have considered double screens to keep the flies out. We have fly traps outside that smell like an animal has died in our trees. I have even tried fly traps in the house (those only make a sticky mess so don’t try it). The only way to keep this from happening is to dump the trashes more often than usual, keep food out of the trash and kill any fly immediately upon entry to my home.
My family has joined me in my quest to keep the flies out. If you have ever been at my house, you may have wondered why I almost screech when a screen door is left open for more than the second it takes to get outside and close it. If you have even woken up to maggots more than once, you would be as completely insane about keeping flies out as I am. Did I tell you how much I HATE flies? I was reading a passage the other day and it reminded me of my fly problem.
I Corinthians 5:6 say, “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?” This passage is referring to a “Christian” who knew better and yet was committing a terrible evil of incest with his mother. The Corinthian church was bragging that they were superior in knowledge of God while evil was going on right under their own noses. Paul rebukes them saying that a little evil could corrupt the whole church.
I wonder why I don’t have the same attitude toward sin that I do flies. Romans 12:9 says, “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good.” There is no doubt that sin is evil in God’s eyes and it is the one thing we are given permission to hate without question, yet I often disregard “little” sins as innocuous nuisances in my life that can be dealt with later. Pretty soon, my beautiful spirit is crawling with the maggots caused by one “small sin.” God wants me to become a hater of evil in my life. As much as it is fun to watch, my family should be more impressed with the tenacity and vehemence with which I attack sin in my life. They should be inspired by the extreme measures I take to get rid of little evils and wonder why I am so vigilant in my quest to pursue a “sin-free” rather than a “fly- free” life.
There is one guest that has graced our home over the last four years that can stop me dead in my tracks. At first, she seemed to be a minor nuisance and we hoped that within a few days, our visitor would be a dried up relic to be sucked up from the window sill on an occasional basis. Much to my dismay, I now hate, absolutely loathe, detest, and abhor our little guest because somehow she always finds her way into our sealed trashcan to lay her eggs. Much to my horror, I wake up to find her wriggling, white babies with their tiny black heads inching their way into every crevice and hole in my beautiful home. You guessed it…maggots!!!
Oh, how I detest maggots! Not only for the unclean feel that they bring to my house, but because they are so difficult to get rid of. Short of tearing my house apart and moving every couch, table, chair and toy we own, no matter how long I vacuum or scour the house looking for them, I am never able to find them all. Then within a week, my house is covered with flies. They hover over food, pester us at dinner and while watching TV. At night they buzz, buzz, BUZZ EVERYWHERE! I HATE THEM!
This little house guest has graced our home once or twice a year and I have become an expert at killing flies. I have killed three at a time, killed them in midair and have impressed my kids with the accuracy and vehemence with which I attack them. Including screens on every window and door, including the garage (which is coming soon), I have considered double screens to keep the flies out. We have fly traps outside that smell like an animal has died in our trees. I have even tried fly traps in the house (those only make a sticky mess so don’t try it). The only way to keep this from happening is to dump the trashes more often than usual, keep food out of the trash and kill any fly immediately upon entry to my home.
My family has joined me in my quest to keep the flies out. If you have ever been at my house, you may have wondered why I almost screech when a screen door is left open for more than the second it takes to get outside and close it. If you have even woken up to maggots more than once, you would be as completely insane about keeping flies out as I am. Did I tell you how much I HATE flies? I was reading a passage the other day and it reminded me of my fly problem.
I Corinthians 5:6 say, “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?” This passage is referring to a “Christian” who knew better and yet was committing a terrible evil of incest with his mother. The Corinthian church was bragging that they were superior in knowledge of God while evil was going on right under their own noses. Paul rebukes them saying that a little evil could corrupt the whole church.
I wonder why I don’t have the same attitude toward sin that I do flies. Romans 12:9 says, “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good.” There is no doubt that sin is evil in God’s eyes and it is the one thing we are given permission to hate without question, yet I often disregard “little” sins as innocuous nuisances in my life that can be dealt with later. Pretty soon, my beautiful spirit is crawling with the maggots caused by one “small sin.” God wants me to become a hater of evil in my life. As much as it is fun to watch, my family should be more impressed with the tenacity and vehemence with which I attack sin in my life. They should be inspired by the extreme measures I take to get rid of little evils and wonder why I am so vigilant in my quest to pursue a “sin-free” rather than a “fly- free” life.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Mercy Me…What If?
I had the most horrifying experience today, so much so that at 3 in the morning I am still so revved up about it that I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I will ever get to sleep tonight even though I have already taken several sleeping remedies. It has been a long two weeks with Jaren in kindergarten and Morgan in a mommy and me preschool two days a week. My schedule was turned upside down when Jaren was mysteriously switched from the am class to the pm class. With nothing I could do about it, that meant I now had to switch Morgan’s easier one day a week preschool class to the only one available in the afternoons. She was begging me to go to school, so we are attending school twice a week for her while also spending one day a week in Jaren’s class as a helper, per the school’s requirement. To top it all off, there is homework, reading, soccer practice and games, parent orientations, back to school nights, parent teacher meetings and Morgan’s class requires we meet monthly at night.
I am also furiously creating my class curriculum for two classes I am teaching. Needless to say, I am exhausted and off my game from my schedule. I just wasn’t thinking straight and I always think straight. This week was especially trying and I was ministering to a friend who was having a difficult time. I wanted to be there for her as well. We have a few great prayer meetings together and a visit at her house today, but I was starting to get tired. I decided to run one more errand on the way home to pick up a new stroller that I ordered for Morgan.
We picked up our order and headed home. Jaren wanted to ask daddy if we could go out to eat at Jimmy’s, so we were waiting for him to come home when Jaren suggested we put the stroller together. We spent about 20 minutes assembling the stroller and then Morgan and I took it for a spin in front of the house. I parked the stroller near the strawberry bushes in the grass and we all went to look at whether there were any more strawberries for this season. After a few minutes of fiddling about with various things, I moved the stroller on the driveway and was going to take it back up with me to the house. A couple dead plants caught my eye, so I left the stroller on the driveway and went to remove them. The kids followed me, but they were too close to the edge of the road and the dog was following them. I sent them back up the driveway and bent down to pick out the last two plants.
The next moment I heard a blood curdling scream and jerked up to see Morgan in the stroller racing down the driveway. You may not know, but we have a steep driveway and a very steep road that heads down the hill and Morgan was barreling down the one heading straight for the other. I screamed her name out and ran as fast as I could, but she was going too fast. Just as she hit the end of the driveway, something flipped the stroller and she went headfirst into the pavement. I was only a second behind and grabbed her by the waist, wrenched up the stroller and ran up the driveway. As I raced up the driveway, I didn’t even look to see the damage.
I must have tossed the stroller in the garage and yelled for Jaren to get inside with the dog as I rushed inside. Morgan was still screaming and my heart was pounding. “What had I done?!”
This is the moment I have been dreading and now I have allowed one of my children to possibly irreparably hurt them self. I sat her on the kitchen sink and began to wipe away the blood. It was the most awful moment of parenting I have ever experienced. My child is hurt and I hadn’t been prepared enough to stop it, smart enough to prevent it or fast enough to halt it. Luckily, Mike came home right then and Cori-Mom and dad were able to walk me through what had to be done. It looked much worse that it was, but I can’t stop thinking about whether she has a brain trauma, fractured nose or skull or something worse. We are monitoring and doing everything right, but my thoughts condemn me. What if?
What if I hadn’t needed to do one more thing? What if I had just put the brakes on just in case when I thought about it for a split second? What if I had been able to run faster? What if I had been able to just grab the handle? This is not a new fear that began with the birth of my children, but it is born from an old fear that has remained from my mother’s death, which is the biggest what if of all. What if it happens again? I know when my racing and anxious thoughts are beginning to rule me, but what if my greatest fear of losing my child, husband or family member ever happens? What if? The reality is that there is no guarantee that God wouldn’t decide to remove his hand of protection to allow something to happen to someone I love. This is not an irrational fear and no truth from the Word can combat this right? It could absolutely happen, so what if?
I have been writing lessons for a class I am teaching called Pathways to Emotional Freedom. I had all these tools fresh in my brain about taking your thoughts captive, praying against the spirits of fear and dealing with past hurts, so I changed my “What ifs”. What if she hadn’t fallen and had continued to careen into the street or down the even steeper hill? What if she had slammed into something going at a much faster speed? What if a car had been coming down the road at that same time? What if I hadn’t been able to get to her as fast I did because I was further up the driveway instead of at the bottom? What if it had been worse?
Lamentations 3:21-23 says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Notice the first part of the verse. The author recalls to mind something positive about the Lord and that recollection changes his thoughts and ultimately changes his heart. The author’s circumstances have not changed, the possibilities and what if’s are still there, but now there is a God big enough to handle them. Verse 32 says, “But though He causes grief, yet will He be moved to compassion according to the multitude of His loving-kindness and tender mercy.”
Where there was pain, now there is hope. In Hebrews 11:1, hope is described as a product of faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Fear is the exact opposite. It is the substance of things “not hoped for”, the evidence of things not seen. The author of Lamentations could have continued to dwell on the negative, but he remembers that the Lord has mercy on us and therefore has hope. This hope is one that is set on the ONE who is in control. I have no control over anything except my ability to have faith in God. It is a focus on His character that brings hope that even when He allows grief to happen he is still working within His character of compassion, loving-kindness and tender mercy. What may hurt me, will not harm me if I allow Him to have it and works something good into the pain.
This faith is irrational because it trusts and believes anyway or in spite of pain, loss and tragedy. This is true faith, a faith that transcends fear. It hopes in things that are unseen even when there is something rational to fear. It is a faith based on God’s character not the circumstances of the world. The only what if that should really scare me, is what if I don’t have that faith when I need really need it. Mercy me…what if?
I am also furiously creating my class curriculum for two classes I am teaching. Needless to say, I am exhausted and off my game from my schedule. I just wasn’t thinking straight and I always think straight. This week was especially trying and I was ministering to a friend who was having a difficult time. I wanted to be there for her as well. We have a few great prayer meetings together and a visit at her house today, but I was starting to get tired. I decided to run one more errand on the way home to pick up a new stroller that I ordered for Morgan.
We picked up our order and headed home. Jaren wanted to ask daddy if we could go out to eat at Jimmy’s, so we were waiting for him to come home when Jaren suggested we put the stroller together. We spent about 20 minutes assembling the stroller and then Morgan and I took it for a spin in front of the house. I parked the stroller near the strawberry bushes in the grass and we all went to look at whether there were any more strawberries for this season. After a few minutes of fiddling about with various things, I moved the stroller on the driveway and was going to take it back up with me to the house. A couple dead plants caught my eye, so I left the stroller on the driveway and went to remove them. The kids followed me, but they were too close to the edge of the road and the dog was following them. I sent them back up the driveway and bent down to pick out the last two plants.
The next moment I heard a blood curdling scream and jerked up to see Morgan in the stroller racing down the driveway. You may not know, but we have a steep driveway and a very steep road that heads down the hill and Morgan was barreling down the one heading straight for the other. I screamed her name out and ran as fast as I could, but she was going too fast. Just as she hit the end of the driveway, something flipped the stroller and she went headfirst into the pavement. I was only a second behind and grabbed her by the waist, wrenched up the stroller and ran up the driveway. As I raced up the driveway, I didn’t even look to see the damage.
I must have tossed the stroller in the garage and yelled for Jaren to get inside with the dog as I rushed inside. Morgan was still screaming and my heart was pounding. “What had I done?!”
This is the moment I have been dreading and now I have allowed one of my children to possibly irreparably hurt them self. I sat her on the kitchen sink and began to wipe away the blood. It was the most awful moment of parenting I have ever experienced. My child is hurt and I hadn’t been prepared enough to stop it, smart enough to prevent it or fast enough to halt it. Luckily, Mike came home right then and Cori-Mom and dad were able to walk me through what had to be done. It looked much worse that it was, but I can’t stop thinking about whether she has a brain trauma, fractured nose or skull or something worse. We are monitoring and doing everything right, but my thoughts condemn me. What if?
What if I hadn’t needed to do one more thing? What if I had just put the brakes on just in case when I thought about it for a split second? What if I had been able to run faster? What if I had been able to just grab the handle? This is not a new fear that began with the birth of my children, but it is born from an old fear that has remained from my mother’s death, which is the biggest what if of all. What if it happens again? I know when my racing and anxious thoughts are beginning to rule me, but what if my greatest fear of losing my child, husband or family member ever happens? What if? The reality is that there is no guarantee that God wouldn’t decide to remove his hand of protection to allow something to happen to someone I love. This is not an irrational fear and no truth from the Word can combat this right? It could absolutely happen, so what if?
I have been writing lessons for a class I am teaching called Pathways to Emotional Freedom. I had all these tools fresh in my brain about taking your thoughts captive, praying against the spirits of fear and dealing with past hurts, so I changed my “What ifs”. What if she hadn’t fallen and had continued to careen into the street or down the even steeper hill? What if she had slammed into something going at a much faster speed? What if a car had been coming down the road at that same time? What if I hadn’t been able to get to her as fast I did because I was further up the driveway instead of at the bottom? What if it had been worse?
Lamentations 3:21-23 says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Notice the first part of the verse. The author recalls to mind something positive about the Lord and that recollection changes his thoughts and ultimately changes his heart. The author’s circumstances have not changed, the possibilities and what if’s are still there, but now there is a God big enough to handle them. Verse 32 says, “But though He causes grief, yet will He be moved to compassion according to the multitude of His loving-kindness and tender mercy.”
Where there was pain, now there is hope. In Hebrews 11:1, hope is described as a product of faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Fear is the exact opposite. It is the substance of things “not hoped for”, the evidence of things not seen. The author of Lamentations could have continued to dwell on the negative, but he remembers that the Lord has mercy on us and therefore has hope. This hope is one that is set on the ONE who is in control. I have no control over anything except my ability to have faith in God. It is a focus on His character that brings hope that even when He allows grief to happen he is still working within His character of compassion, loving-kindness and tender mercy. What may hurt me, will not harm me if I allow Him to have it and works something good into the pain.
This faith is irrational because it trusts and believes anyway or in spite of pain, loss and tragedy. This is true faith, a faith that transcends fear. It hopes in things that are unseen even when there is something rational to fear. It is a faith based on God’s character not the circumstances of the world. The only what if that should really scare me, is what if I don’t have that faith when I need really need it. Mercy me…what if?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The Not so Lazy River Part 2
When I chose to become a Christ follower, I hopped in the river with little or no preparation, planning, or knowledge of what lay ahead. I just expected that someone else who had traveled the road before me would help lead the way. I packed up my bible, laid it on my night stand and attended church with little regard to the change it would require me to make. For a while, life was fine and I floated along quite peacefully. Then I started to hit lower waters and my inadequate faith, poor relationship with the God and sin started to trip me up. I was stuck and didn’t know how to get myself out. The Christian life is anything but a lazy river adventure. After we become Christians, we can’t expect that we can just jump in the river and not encounter things that life throws at us. What we can expect is that Christ has given us the wisdom, power and help we need to overcome these hurdles. The catch is that we have to utilize the things He has given us BEFORE we encounter trouble.
The entire chapter of Hebrews 12 is a study in the fervency in which I should pursue my faith. Hebrews 12:1b starts by saying, “… let us also lay side every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…” Just as there were preparations I should have made for my river trip, there are preparations I need to make in my Christian walk. One of the preparations I can make is to let go of the things that are going to get me caught up as I travel along. Sin not only slows me down, but it can hold me back. Thankfully, God does not require us to have all our sins taken care of before we become his children, and there will always be more sin to remove as we travel the Christian life. However, bitterness, preferring the delights of the flesh and refusing to listen to the Holy Spirit are essential hindrances we need to get rid of first. They can keep us from even getting started in the first place.
Throughout the chapter, the author also describes things that trip us up. These are things that could cause me to slip and fall if my feet weren’t properly prepared (like being stranded in the river without proper footwear). Eph 6:15 says to, “shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.” Any hiker, soldier or runner knows that without proper footwear it is impossible to finish the race. Our proper footwear is to be prepared with the gospel of peace. One commentary suggests that it is the, “patient investigation, calm inquiry, assiduous, laborious, lasting; or with firm footing in the gospel of peace.” In other words, we should know the word of God. If we were armed with the knowledge of the gospel, discouragement, weariness, hostility of others toward the faithful, the discipline of the Lord and burdens of afflictions would not trip us up. We would know their place in our walk and be able to grip tightly to His truth. The commentary concludes by saying, “like the boots worn by soldiers, [the gospel] would bear them safe through many obstructions and trials that might be opposed to them, as a soldier might encounter sharp-pointed thorns that would oppose his progress.” I certainly learned that lesson not only in the river and discovered the value of being properly shod.
Then verse 12 says, “Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees,.” This is an interesting passage and I had to do a little research to discover its meaning. One commentary said that the words are an address to persons almost worn out with sickness and fatigue, whose hands hang down, whose knees shake, and who are totally discouraged. These are exhorted to exert themselves, and take courage, with the assurance that they shall infallibly conquer if they persevere. During the course of our river adventure, my sisters and I were constantly encouraging one another to continue on, calling back where the safe paths were to travel and waiting until we had all caught up. At the end when only one of us was left, she alone soldiered on. Our faithful sister worried so much that she didn’t even notice the wounds she received on the way. Sometimes in our walk we need to just take courage and keep moving.
Verses 13 says, “and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. “ That is, take the straight path that is before you, do not go in crooked or rough ways, where are stones, briers, and thorns, by which you will be inevitably lamed, and so totally prevented from proceeding in the way; whereas, if you go in the even, proper path, though you have been wounded by getting into a wrong way, that which was wounded will be healed by moderate, equal exercise, all impediments being removed. We certainly had taken the wrong path in our adventure when we tried to exit the river and without proper footwear, I did encounter thorns that made me unable to continue. Had we kept on the river, we would have discovered we only had to walk a few hundred feet or more to the end.
Finally, verse 15 says, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God;” Thankfully, my sisters and I did something right on our trip. We traveled together. When we travel together with other believers, we help pull each other along and watch out for trouble.
The Christian walk is an adventure, but it shouldn’t be all rock and no river. If we are properly prepared in our relationship with God, we can withstand anything the river throws at us.
The entire chapter of Hebrews 12 is a study in the fervency in which I should pursue my faith. Hebrews 12:1b starts by saying, “… let us also lay side every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…” Just as there were preparations I should have made for my river trip, there are preparations I need to make in my Christian walk. One of the preparations I can make is to let go of the things that are going to get me caught up as I travel along. Sin not only slows me down, but it can hold me back. Thankfully, God does not require us to have all our sins taken care of before we become his children, and there will always be more sin to remove as we travel the Christian life. However, bitterness, preferring the delights of the flesh and refusing to listen to the Holy Spirit are essential hindrances we need to get rid of first. They can keep us from even getting started in the first place.
Throughout the chapter, the author also describes things that trip us up. These are things that could cause me to slip and fall if my feet weren’t properly prepared (like being stranded in the river without proper footwear). Eph 6:15 says to, “shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.” Any hiker, soldier or runner knows that without proper footwear it is impossible to finish the race. Our proper footwear is to be prepared with the gospel of peace. One commentary suggests that it is the, “patient investigation, calm inquiry, assiduous, laborious, lasting; or with firm footing in the gospel of peace.” In other words, we should know the word of God. If we were armed with the knowledge of the gospel, discouragement, weariness, hostility of others toward the faithful, the discipline of the Lord and burdens of afflictions would not trip us up. We would know their place in our walk and be able to grip tightly to His truth. The commentary concludes by saying, “like the boots worn by soldiers, [the gospel] would bear them safe through many obstructions and trials that might be opposed to them, as a soldier might encounter sharp-pointed thorns that would oppose his progress.” I certainly learned that lesson not only in the river and discovered the value of being properly shod.
Then verse 12 says, “Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees,.” This is an interesting passage and I had to do a little research to discover its meaning. One commentary said that the words are an address to persons almost worn out with sickness and fatigue, whose hands hang down, whose knees shake, and who are totally discouraged. These are exhorted to exert themselves, and take courage, with the assurance that they shall infallibly conquer if they persevere. During the course of our river adventure, my sisters and I were constantly encouraging one another to continue on, calling back where the safe paths were to travel and waiting until we had all caught up. At the end when only one of us was left, she alone soldiered on. Our faithful sister worried so much that she didn’t even notice the wounds she received on the way. Sometimes in our walk we need to just take courage and keep moving.
Verses 13 says, “and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. “ That is, take the straight path that is before you, do not go in crooked or rough ways, where are stones, briers, and thorns, by which you will be inevitably lamed, and so totally prevented from proceeding in the way; whereas, if you go in the even, proper path, though you have been wounded by getting into a wrong way, that which was wounded will be healed by moderate, equal exercise, all impediments being removed. We certainly had taken the wrong path in our adventure when we tried to exit the river and without proper footwear, I did encounter thorns that made me unable to continue. Had we kept on the river, we would have discovered we only had to walk a few hundred feet or more to the end.
Finally, verse 15 says, “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God;” Thankfully, my sisters and I did something right on our trip. We traveled together. When we travel together with other believers, we help pull each other along and watch out for trouble.
The Christian walk is an adventure, but it shouldn’t be all rock and no river. If we are properly prepared in our relationship with God, we can withstand anything the river throws at us.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Not so Lazy River Part 1
It was a sister weekend with four women who hadn’t all been together in over a year. I must warn you that us sisters get a little crazy when we are together. On this occasion we were in Portland and decided that a day on the river sounded just the thing for a sister weekend in July. So we headed out to a tributary of the Columbia River, loaded up our food in a cooler to float alongside and headed downstream. However, we were not prepared for what awaited us. You may be thinking, “Oh no, they hit rapids.” No, that would be a cool adventure. What we encountered was terrible….duh, duh, duh… planning. We wore completely inappropriate footwear, didn’t plan for how we were going to get back to our car, how long it would take to get down the river and had the most awful floating devices for this type of river.
As we floated down the river, we were fine for a while, but the season’s low water flow had rendered the previously full river a little on the low side. It wasn’t long before our bottoms were dragging in the sand while we clung to the floaties that were being wrenched from our hands by the lower, but faster moving water. As we tried to stand up and navigate the river’s alternating sandy and slippery rocks, in flip flops of all things, you could hear four grown gals screeching and yelling over one another in an attempt to help each other while simultaneously trying to help ourselves. If we had been prepared, we could have walked back up to the car at the first sign of trouble, but we didn’t know how far down the river we were. As there were several people who had gone on before us, we were hoping one of them could give us a ride, so we decided to try and get down the river faster to catch up with them.
As we went along, it seemed to get better for a time and then we hit a long patch of low water. The water was moving fast, we were slipping all over the place and our lazy river trip was slowly going downhill. We couldn’t decide what to do next because as far as the eye could see downstream, the way was rocky. What we did see in our immediate view was what looked like a small incline that led up a bank to the road. This was mistake number two. Our flip flops were woefully wet and traction free, so on our way up the incline we were slipping and sliding, gear in hand up the sandy bank. Halfway up, we looked around and noticed we were near a blackberry bush full to the brim with blackberries. We happily munched on our find, glad to take a break until I made the clever decision to take off my flip flops to get better traction up the hill. Not living in Portland, I didn’t realize that blackberry bushes have thorns and that those thorns fall off and get covered by sandy slope as four girls in flip flops try to haul themselves up the hill. I dug my foot into the sand and boy did I get something to grip. Yes, for my trouble, I received several large thorns imbedded in my right foot.
We could have turned around and went back down the river before this point, but now I was bleeding and could barely walk. My youngest sister had also twisted her ankle the day before and was unable to walk down the river, so we kept heading up. Finally at the top of the embankment, we noticed a large, “No Trespassing” sign tacked to a tree. We had climbed the cliff only to land ourselves in someone’s private backyard. I am not a particularly brave person, so the thought of being trapped in Portland where there could be crazy people with guns didn’t appeal to me. We skirted around the edge of the gated property looking for a way out. Luckily, the owners either didn’t see us or opened the gate to set us vermin free.
We had made it to “freedom” on the side of the road. We still didn’t know how far a walk it would be back to the car and two of us were out of commission. Sister number one and sister number three bravely decided they were fit enough to make the two mile walk back to the car. Both are amazingly strong and know a bit of self defense, so they felt prepared to walk back to the car in flip flops and bathing suits, while sister number four and I sat on the side of the small road in our bathing suits with all the gear. What happened next was relayed to me by sister number three who only made it one mile to the car before her weird flip flops made her unable to walk anymore. She was left on the side of the road to wait while my oldest sister bravely soldiered on.
Sister number one was the last one standing, but she was starting to worry about the rest of us littering the side of the road in only our bathing suits. So she decided to jog the rest of the way in flip flops and a bathing suit. She was so worried in fact, that she didn’t notice that her feet were rubbed raw by her flip flops and were bleeding as well. She said her only thought was, “I have to save my sisters!” That should tell you a little something about her personality. She finally did make it back and picked up the rest of us along the way and now we have this incredible story to tell you about our lazy river adventure.
What I learned about this adventure taught me a little something about life…the Christian life to be more precise. I wonder how often I complained about the troubles I encountered in my walk with Christ that were direct results of my own actions. In the past, I know I complained A LOT. When I look back during those times, it often resembles my not so lazy river adventure.
Stay tuned for part 2....
As we floated down the river, we were fine for a while, but the season’s low water flow had rendered the previously full river a little on the low side. It wasn’t long before our bottoms were dragging in the sand while we clung to the floaties that were being wrenched from our hands by the lower, but faster moving water. As we tried to stand up and navigate the river’s alternating sandy and slippery rocks, in flip flops of all things, you could hear four grown gals screeching and yelling over one another in an attempt to help each other while simultaneously trying to help ourselves. If we had been prepared, we could have walked back up to the car at the first sign of trouble, but we didn’t know how far down the river we were. As there were several people who had gone on before us, we were hoping one of them could give us a ride, so we decided to try and get down the river faster to catch up with them.
As we went along, it seemed to get better for a time and then we hit a long patch of low water. The water was moving fast, we were slipping all over the place and our lazy river trip was slowly going downhill. We couldn’t decide what to do next because as far as the eye could see downstream, the way was rocky. What we did see in our immediate view was what looked like a small incline that led up a bank to the road. This was mistake number two. Our flip flops were woefully wet and traction free, so on our way up the incline we were slipping and sliding, gear in hand up the sandy bank. Halfway up, we looked around and noticed we were near a blackberry bush full to the brim with blackberries. We happily munched on our find, glad to take a break until I made the clever decision to take off my flip flops to get better traction up the hill. Not living in Portland, I didn’t realize that blackberry bushes have thorns and that those thorns fall off and get covered by sandy slope as four girls in flip flops try to haul themselves up the hill. I dug my foot into the sand and boy did I get something to grip. Yes, for my trouble, I received several large thorns imbedded in my right foot.
We could have turned around and went back down the river before this point, but now I was bleeding and could barely walk. My youngest sister had also twisted her ankle the day before and was unable to walk down the river, so we kept heading up. Finally at the top of the embankment, we noticed a large, “No Trespassing” sign tacked to a tree. We had climbed the cliff only to land ourselves in someone’s private backyard. I am not a particularly brave person, so the thought of being trapped in Portland where there could be crazy people with guns didn’t appeal to me. We skirted around the edge of the gated property looking for a way out. Luckily, the owners either didn’t see us or opened the gate to set us vermin free.
We had made it to “freedom” on the side of the road. We still didn’t know how far a walk it would be back to the car and two of us were out of commission. Sister number one and sister number three bravely decided they were fit enough to make the two mile walk back to the car. Both are amazingly strong and know a bit of self defense, so they felt prepared to walk back to the car in flip flops and bathing suits, while sister number four and I sat on the side of the small road in our bathing suits with all the gear. What happened next was relayed to me by sister number three who only made it one mile to the car before her weird flip flops made her unable to walk anymore. She was left on the side of the road to wait while my oldest sister bravely soldiered on.
Sister number one was the last one standing, but she was starting to worry about the rest of us littering the side of the road in only our bathing suits. So she decided to jog the rest of the way in flip flops and a bathing suit. She was so worried in fact, that she didn’t notice that her feet were rubbed raw by her flip flops and were bleeding as well. She said her only thought was, “I have to save my sisters!” That should tell you a little something about her personality. She finally did make it back and picked up the rest of us along the way and now we have this incredible story to tell you about our lazy river adventure.
What I learned about this adventure taught me a little something about life…the Christian life to be more precise. I wonder how often I complained about the troubles I encountered in my walk with Christ that were direct results of my own actions. In the past, I know I complained A LOT. When I look back during those times, it often resembles my not so lazy river adventure.
Stay tuned for part 2....
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Writing Opportunity
OK, so all my previous posts have been writings that had been sitting around for a while. I have been rewriting and editing the roughs I scratched out and have been slowly posting them. A month or so ago, I met with my pastor's wife about the desire to develop my writing and teaching talents. I asked her to mentor me into a leadership position fully expecting her to say, "Let's first start by setting up some chairs" or other small ministry. What she actually said was, "You don't need to be mentored, we just need to start your own ministry and you can learn as you go."
After I picked myself off the floor, I was equally excited and nauseous at the same time. After a year praying about what God wanted me to do with these talents, I didn't know if I was ready to just jump right in. Well, I had opened the door and ask God to reveal what he wanted me to do and He did, so I kept going. We discussed the different needs of the church, created a survey at a women's event and prayed about God's leading.
Over the next couple of weeks, God confirmed the same theme in conversations with friends, family, leadership and random people. Everyone was saying the same thing....people need help with emotional struggles. This is interesting because that has been the running theme of my personal and spiritual growth. Once we made the decision, the words started flowing. It is awesome to see God providing direction and bringing the right words together.
So, starting the first of October I will be teaching a class I call "Pathways to Emotional Wholeness." (if you have a better name, I would be happy to consider it). So for a while, I will be busily researching and writing the material for the class instead of posting. There are many of you who may be interested in either the topic or what God is doing with my writing. Starting in October, I will be posting my materials. If you want, you could follow along with the class and even complete the weekly homework.
I hope you will consider joining the class online and thank you all for reading my blogs so far. I find it awesome how God answers prayer as soon as we decide to get moving in the right direction.
Here are the topics for each week:
1. Week One - Past Things First: A Biblical Perspective on Counseling
2. Week Two - The Mind Body Connection: How your thoughts affect your emotions and how your emotions affect your body
3. Week Three - Boundaries: Drawing appropriate emotional lines
4. Week Four - “Know Thyself”: Understanding who you were created to be
5. Week Five - Our Heavenly Parent: Understanding emotions, sin and God’s Discipline
6. Week Six - The Road to the Wound: Healing Trauma with Truth
7. Week Seven - This Present Darkness: Preparing for the battle around us
8. Week Eight - Fighting the good fight: Using our tools and the attributes of emotional health
I hope to see you here!
Farah
After I picked myself off the floor, I was equally excited and nauseous at the same time. After a year praying about what God wanted me to do with these talents, I didn't know if I was ready to just jump right in. Well, I had opened the door and ask God to reveal what he wanted me to do and He did, so I kept going. We discussed the different needs of the church, created a survey at a women's event and prayed about God's leading.
Over the next couple of weeks, God confirmed the same theme in conversations with friends, family, leadership and random people. Everyone was saying the same thing....people need help with emotional struggles. This is interesting because that has been the running theme of my personal and spiritual growth. Once we made the decision, the words started flowing. It is awesome to see God providing direction and bringing the right words together.
So, starting the first of October I will be teaching a class I call "Pathways to Emotional Wholeness." (if you have a better name, I would be happy to consider it). So for a while, I will be busily researching and writing the material for the class instead of posting. There are many of you who may be interested in either the topic or what God is doing with my writing. Starting in October, I will be posting my materials. If you want, you could follow along with the class and even complete the weekly homework.
I hope you will consider joining the class online and thank you all for reading my blogs so far. I find it awesome how God answers prayer as soon as we decide to get moving in the right direction.
Here are the topics for each week:
1. Week One - Past Things First: A Biblical Perspective on Counseling
2. Week Two - The Mind Body Connection: How your thoughts affect your emotions and how your emotions affect your body
3. Week Three - Boundaries: Drawing appropriate emotional lines
4. Week Four - “Know Thyself”: Understanding who you were created to be
5. Week Five - Our Heavenly Parent: Understanding emotions, sin and God’s Discipline
6. Week Six - The Road to the Wound: Healing Trauma with Truth
7. Week Seven - This Present Darkness: Preparing for the battle around us
8. Week Eight - Fighting the good fight: Using our tools and the attributes of emotional health
I hope to see you here!
Farah
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
