Turn, Turn, Turn Part 1

(Hang tight with me to the end on this one. Part two to come...)

Ecclesiastes 3:11 “God gave us the ability to think about his world. But we can never completely understand everything God does. And yet, God does everything at just the right time.” The Amplified Version of this verse says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I say this because I know the plans that I have for you." This message is from the Lord. "I have good plans for you. I don't plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future.”

I never intended to have children….EVER! Throughout my life, my dad often told me that I was born thirty and it showed when it came to kids. The older I got, the more I found childish antics irritating. I grew up with three sisters, of whom, I was the second child but was as responsible as a first child. My mother ran a daycare until I was in 6th grade and often 10 other children graced our home. Back in the early 80’s when childcare laws in the Midwest were much more lax and you could legally spank daycare children, which maybe made it much easier to watch 14 children. Although my mom was very organized it was still chaotic in a kid sort of way. My mother also took in a cousin starting at age two and she lived with us on and off throughout her life. Later during high school, our little neighbor practically lived with my younger sisters as they played together so often at our house. Then my oldest sister decided to “adopt” a teen in crisis and we were all enlisted into the drama of helping this wayward girl.

Then there were countless hours spent assisting in various children’s ministries at church when there weren’t enough volunteers. Let’s see, there was endless nursery duty, the toddler room, children’s church, high school leadership team and a two year stint as the junior high director where I lead a team of volunteers, taught two days a week and attended all functions. Let’s not go into the babysitting days which started as early as 10 when I would watch our neighbor kids while their mom went to the grocery store. As a parent now, I can’t imagine allowing a 10 year old to watch my children, so I was either responsible or they were nuts. Then I spent every day for a month or so babysitting a family friend’s two week old baby. Oh, I almost forgot about my summer fling filling in for a preschool aid at my church preschool. I think that covers everything imaginable right? Well, everything except pregnancy, but after my mom’s chats with countless friends who graced our home with their pregnancy woes that illusion was shattered as well.

I had probably more than 10 years of childcare or child work experience before I ever got married and I was very tired of watching kids. There were a lot more reasons behind this, but it started out as a complete desire NOT to watch kids ever again. I had never been much of a kid and spending so much of my childhood caring for other people’s children gave me a real inside look. Have you ever been to a magic show and had the secret to the spectacular trick revealed, or seen your favorite star without her makeup and flaws airbrushed out. These Wizard of Oz moments where you get a glimpse at the man behind the curtain really deflate all the magic, mystery and glitter. You almost need that bubble around you before you have kids or you would have been just like me and declared on your wedding day that you “will not allow children to be present at your wedding or the rehearsal because they ruin everything”. Then afterward you would tell your husband you “really don’t care to have children”, while deep down inside you are sitting down with arms folded ready to put a chastity belt on until he agrees that having children is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.

Let me be very clear that I had absolutely no illusions as to how much work raising a child would be. I knew what happened during every stage of parenting and had “been there, done that” many times over or so I thought. I was not eager to do that again, EVER. At times, I was downright hostile towards parents and their “little demon spawn.” I may have tolerably fooled people with my sarcastic remarks, but I wasn’t kidding. I was almost venomous about children and didn’t want to be anywhere within a hundred yards of the “creatures.”

Of course, when I got married and declared my utter lack of interest in all things children, my family blew me off and laughed. Maybe they didn’t understand the intensity of my “no children EVER” policy. Then friends would tell me “other people’s children are so much different than your own.” I would scoff inside as they moved blissfully unaware into pregnancy. Then I would laugh to myself when they started to complain about how much harder it was than they thought and how they were so tired all the time and how they never got to do anything anymore…..whine, whine, whine. I laughed because I had warned them and they never listened. What could I know? I didn’t have kids, right?

At age 24, my husband and I were two months away from convincing our doctor that we in fact did not want children EVER, when the unthinkable occurred. I got pregnant. And if I told you the juvenile way we got pregnant you would laugh your head off. Folks and I am not naming names here, but let’s just say that after the first time all the swimmy guys are NOT all gone when the second time rolls around. Ok, laugh, get it out...and then let’s move on. I knew it had happened before I even got in the shower and as we used to say in the Midwest I was hoppin’ mad. Six weeks and four pregnancy tests later, it was confirmed. I cried like a baby for the whole 9 months and then some.

Now, you may be asking yourself at this point, “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS WOMAN WRITING ABOUT THIS FOR?” Just hold on, there is a happy ending! I just need to you to understand to depths of my insanity first. I know, I know... I was awful.